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For the Good of Your Child, Voice Obedience - Lesson VIII
In 2006 the United Nations Committee on the Rights of the Child issued a directive calling physical punishment "legalized violence against children" that should be eliminated in all settings. The treaty that established this committee has the support of 192 countries, with only the United States and Somalia failing to ratify it. Worldwide, 30 countries have banned physical punishment of children in all settings, including the home, although these laws are typically used as public education tools rather than attempts to criminalize spanking, according to a review from the American Psychological Association.
We have learned from God’s word that we are to be servants of the Most High God.
And not only that, we are to train our children to follow in our footsteps.
The world has its goals and purposes apart from God and its child rearing principles are not made for making servants.
But Christians are to rear children according to God’s purpose for them, and following His principles to get that result are clearly given in His word.
Contrary to the world’s thinking training our children to be servants is probably one of the most important jobs we have as parents, one that requires consistency and diligence if we are going to have any degree of success.
The clearest definition of consistency is Jesus Christ for He is the same yesterday, and today, and forever.
And you as a parent can also be consistent if you follow Jesus Christ who is the Word of God.
One of the distinctions of a servant is to listen to his master’s voice so that he may obey his master.
A good servant never needs any other prompting but his master’s voice.
And this is what we mean by voice obedience.
It is simply doing what you are told by voice command with no other reinforcement.
Voice obedience, an immediate response on the part of our child to our spoken word, is not just something that would be nice to obtain but is to be the norm for our children.
Getting our children trained to listen for our voice and respond immediately to our instructions is a necessary first step to our children walking with God.
For God requires exactly that from His children.
He speaking through His word followed by our obedience is what a Christian’s walk with the Lord is all about.
Now in spite of what you are taught from the world, voice obedience is possible.
The world has rejected this idea for it chooses to use methods where acceptable behavior is all that is required but behavior is usually purchased.
The Prophet Samuel was trained to voice obedience by the time he was three years old when his mother Hannah turned him over to Eli to carry out his instructions as he assisted Eli with his temple responsibilities. (I Sam 3:1-10)
As Samuel grew he learned to respond to God’s voice in the same way he had responded to Eli’s voice.
Certainly this is what we desire for our children after they leave our homes to build their own.
The first step in teaching voice obedience is to believe that it is possible to train children to respond to voice commands on our first instruction.
And this belief convinces us that it is desirable to have voice obedience for the long term benefits it brings to the peace and tranquility of our household and our children’s ultimate voice obedience to God.
But God gives parents an urgency about this matter, for time, as the hymn says: like an ever rolling stream, bears all its sons away.
Sons and daughters grow up fast and time flies so it is imperative that we begin this process of voice obedience immediately.
The sooner we get started the easier it is and the more successful we will be.
The older our children, the more difficult the job will be.
We must be willing to commit the time and patience required in order to successfully complete the task at hand.
There is no allowance for failure for the results will be disastrous if we fail, at least from a spiritual standpoint.
The spirit and attitude of a submissive servant comes in part from learning to respond in an immediate and humble fashion to the spoken commands of those in authority over us.
I realize that this is not the thinking of modern child rearing “experts”, but it is the position of the Word of God.
Remember the world has a different result in mind and therefore its methods are different.
The world simply seeks behavior which is usually purchased but the Christian seeks obedience for to obey is right.
Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right!
Prayer and study of the Word of God are musts in this effort.
Believers get past their preconceived ideas about child rearing only by knowing God’s commands relative to this subject.
Scripture promotes a mind cleansing by saying “Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus.”
So many parents rear children by the seat of their pants, a reactive rearing instead of an active rearing set forth in God’s word.
Deut. 13:4, Ye shall walk after the Lord your God, and fear Him, and keep his commandments, and obey his voice and ye shall serve him, and cleave unto him.
After you have been thoroughly convinced by the Word of God as to the rightness of this effort, lay out your plan of attack.
Think through the process and then lay out carefully to your child what you will require and just how this will be accomplished.
Accept nothing less than obedience to your quietly spoken word on your first instruction.
You will get what you require and nothing more so therefore require much.
Be sure you are clear as to the penalty for failure to obey promptly.
As the occasion arises for you to give some instruction to your child state carefully and precisely what it is you want and be sure there is understanding on the child’s part.
You can’t expect compliance when your instructions are vague or confusing or when the child has not been given clear instruction.
Speak slowly and without emotion, simply stating what you require.
If there is no response or an improper response do not tell the child again to comply, for in that you are teaching laxness.
But take the child to the proverbial woodshed, perhaps a bedroom and use a switch (the Biblical “rod”, which is limber and appropriate to the age and size of the child) in a manner that will not leave bruises but will sting and burn for some time afterward.
It does not take a heavy or long switch, and it requires only one to three strokes to accomplish the desired results.
Do not talk to the child until this has been administered.
Assure the child that this will continue to be the way things will be handled every time there is not immediate compliance to your softly spoken word.
With time and patience this procedure will pay rich dividends in the life of your child and in your relationship over the years.
Some may feel that this procedure I have described is harsh and that there is an easier way, however, such is not the case.
This method is biblical and designed to yield the will of the child to your will without breaking the spirit of the child.
We must always act from the proper motive, that is, for the child’s welfare and God’s glory, and not some selfish desire of ours to be in charge.
This method is guaranteed to work when started early in a child’s life and practiced consistently for consistency is the key.
Not many parents are willing to pay the price required to have success, as much more is required from us as parents than is required of the child.
Now we have mentioned the importance of the implement God gives parents, the tool called the rod.
Listen to Proverbs 13:24, to see the importance God gives to this tool for we are told: He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. You will find in scripture no other implement given for the purpose of chastisement.
God, the maker of the child limits you to a rod in the correction of your child.
He also promises that if you limit yourself to a rod in accordance with his instruction then your child will not die from its proper use.
As with any command of God, we exhibit faith when we obey.
He also gives the astounding promise to those who obey his word that correction of our children by the use of the proper tool will result in our children's deliverance from Hell.
Quite a promise by simply using a tool that God gives for the correction of children!
Rod: the shoot or long twig of any woody plant; a branch or the stem of a shrub, as a rod of hazel, birch, oak, or hickory.
Note the use of this tool is for a purpose, it is for correction.
Nowhere in these proverbs does Solomon talk about punishment.
Show some examples of a rod: crepe myrtle rod, bamboo shoot rod, mimosa rod, red tip rod (also known as red top), youpon rod, azalea rod.
Note the aerodynamic nature of the construction of the natural, God produced rod, its ability to travel to the designated target without interference.
Note the ease of control and its ability to deliver the exact amount of force desired.
Note also that it will fit the big hand or the little hand.
It will fit father's hand and well as mother's hand.
It is typical of man to invent substitutes for that which God gives to accomplish his purposes.
God commanded Cain and Abel to bring a sacrifice which required shed blood.
God was specific. Cain thought otherwise. He brought the fruit of his hand and was rebuked for it.
So too we think that we can make a better tool for correction of our children, so we use all sorts of things instead of the God commanded rod!
His promise of deliverance from Hell for our children is in jeopardy when we make our own tools.
What about these examples?
Show some examples of the wrong tool: Most are fashioned by the hand of man. And will bring abuse if applied in extreme anger.
A belt (hard to control and will wrap around and do damage to other areas of the body),
a dowell (not limber or lively, too brittle, will break and splinter, not a natural shoot), fashioned by the hand of man
a stick (too rigid, sharp corners that injure, not limber and may break),
a board (hard to control because it will turn in the hand, too rigid, may break bones),
a paddle (wimpy, won't do the job, garners no respect by the child, causes the child to laugh and ridicule your method, edges could break bones and cause damage),
your hand (this will hurt your hand and cause you pain, it is not the purpose of this correction to cause you pain)
Note also that this tool is to be a shoot, which may indicate that the rod ought to be new for each occasion of its use.
A shoot indicates freshness and limberness, a shoot is pliant, easy to bend.
A new shoot for each use allows the correcting parent time to cool the emotions and plan the event rather then rushing in with a vengeful and punishing reason instead of a correcting reason.
A rod too easily available may be easily misused.
Also the child is growing and needs a different size rod as he or she grows. Method of Application? (a rod needs room to swing, therefore distance between the one applying the licks and the child should be the norm,
having the child bend over and grab his ankles separates the two nicely and keeps your hands off of the child, and keeps the child's hands away from the rod,
it also presents the rear end and only the rear end to the swift moves of the rod,
this stance also tightens the clothes over the rear end so the correcting job of the rod will be most effective)
Number of licks? Depends upon the child, not the offense, remember you are correcting, not punishing.
When to start using the rod? When disobedience is displayed.
When to stop using the rod? When voice obedience is achieved. |