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For the Good of Your Child, The Woman in the Case - Lesson XII
Dr. Hobbs, in Chapter Nine of his booklet, For the Good of Your Child, recalls a famous message given all over America by his mentor, Dr. Bob Jones Sr., entitled “The Woman in the case.”
This message brings into focus the Apostle Paul’s encounter with Governor Felix and his wife Drusilla who desired to meet Paul, thinking some money would change hands for Paul’s release.
Both Felix and Drusilla were wicked people with wicked motives.
The thrust of his message was that Felix trembled as Paul reasoned with him of righteousness, temperance, and judgment to come; however no mention on the part of Drusilla is made of such a response or, in fact any response on the part of Drusilla.
The message Dr. Bob Jones Sr. preached that night as he brought Drusilla to mind, pointed out the sad condition of women in America in that day, well over 60 years ago and warned that without godly women to provide the teaching and training for our youth in their early years in the home, our nation was doomed to failure.
We have seen from that point to our time the changing of God-established order to an order where men and women do that which is right and convenient in their own eyes.
God’s plan for women and men is perfect and is clearly described in God’s Word.
It is a plan that operates on the narrow way.
It is a plan where each gender has specific roles, roles that are not to be thought of as competitive but supportive.
Satan’s way, the way along the broad way is a way of competition between men and women.
It is a way of division, not God’s way of unity.
It is a way of equality which forces the view that there should be no differences between the genders.
It is Anti-God, anti-bible, and is designed to break down the structure that God established in His Word.
God’s word is filled with instruction as to distinctions that men and women have which are given to fulfill God’s plan.
God made men and women physically distinctive so it is not hard to understand that He also made them mentally distinctive.
One important instruction regarding distinctives is given in:
Proverbs 6:20, My son, keep thy father’s commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother:
Just ponder clearly God’s intention for his creation.
One of two genders is to function as a father, and one is to function as a mother.
A father cannot be a mother nor a mother a father.
But when united in marriage the mother and the father become one which indicates that both are needed to make up the whole.
Each though, is unique and in this proverb the father is given to command and the mother is given to execute the command.
Now it appears from this passage that there is a division of labor, a division of authority, presented here.
There is a function which the father is to perform and there is a function which the mother is to perform.
Each function is important to the proper rearing of children.
One is not better or superior than the other, for God has ordained both.
These functions are described by the words “commandment” and “law.”
This difference was revealed early on in my family by an incident that took place when we visited my wife’s parents with our young children years and years ago.
At the dining table my son was fussing and carrying on and crying.
His grandfather immediately spoke out in no uncertain terms, NO CRYING AT THE TABLE.
All sound was cut short! Crying ceased.
Eyes and ears turned to Grandpa.
The commandment had been spoken! NO CRYING AT THE TABLE!
No other words were given to amplify the command, No explanation of why crying was not to be permitted, no excuse for crying was to be accepted.
The simple command of no crying at the table was sufficient to express his will.
Now that the commandment was given, what was required?
Well, obedience was required.
Hadn’t Grandpa spoken? Wasn’t he the elder at the table?
Wasn’t his commandment to be honored?
The standard had been given clearly and precisely.
There was to be no crying at the table.
The commandment was known in no uncertain terms.
Now, law had to be made to insure that the commandment was followed.
Commandment and law.
Father had to see to it that the commandment was upheld in high honor as if it come from his mouth.
There was to be no argument with Grandpa, but only compliance.
It had to become the father’s commandment, not only in Grandpa’s house but in father’s house.
Mother now had to see to it that the command was obeyed.
She could not stand the shame of a child left to himself.
Training had to take place prior to dinner time.
Chastisement measures had to be known.
An evacuation plan of a crying child, if all else failed, had to be in force.
For Grandpa had issued the command, NO CRYING AT THE TABLE!
And that command still is in force at Opager tables!
Commandment is given and law is made in order to obey that command.
That is the division of labor, or the division of authority that is expressed in this passage.
That same division of authority shows itself in our country.
The constitution is the commandment and all laws of this country have to be enacted within the confines of the constitution.
Good laws always promote the constitution.
Similarly the legislative branch makes laws and the executive branch carries out the dictates of the laws. Nowadays at least in theory.
I saw this division of authority in the military between the Commanding Officer and the Executive Officer.
The Commanding Officer has a biblical name.
He is the one to give commands and the executive officer sees to it that the sailors obey and execute those commands.
The executive officer does not have his own agenda, he does not have his own set of commands, but has the agenda of the Commanding Officer to see about.
The Commanding Officer position is generally above the day to day operation of the ship or the base with the Executive Officer position taking care of the daily details.
He operates on delegated authority from the Commanding Officer only.
There can only be one head for only a monster has two heads.
Unfortunately there are many homes where monsters live.
Now the division of labor or authority in the home is an important division and well defined by the scriptures.
But Satan is busy successfully erasing that division by blurring the lines between the father and the mother.
Only when both parties in the home perform their God given roles will successful child rearing result.
Do it God’s way or be faced with calamity.
God uses the words commandment and law in this passage.
These words come from two different Hebrew words, “Mitsvaw” and “Torah”, mitsvaw meaning a command and torah meaning a precept or statute.
These words are close in meaning but there appears to be subtle differences in their order.
First a command, then a precept or statute arising from the command.
First a constitution, then laws making that constitution effective.
But all laws are to be based upon the commands of the constitution and legislators are not to have an agenda apart from the constitution.
That same division of labor is to be in the home and each party in the home is to make sacred that division of labor.
That division is to be valued and guarded as precious.
Change in that division must be considered as rebellion against God’s plan for the home.
The father is to assume his part and should not interfere in the mother’s part, nor vice versa.
When each do their biblical duty in accordance with God’s constitution, the Holy Bible, success will result.
And remember God’s constitution has no amendments now, nor will it ever have!
Our proverb again: My son, keep thy father’s commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother: Bind them continually upon thine heart, and tie them about thy neck.
So this son is to keep or guard the father’s commandment and to not forsake the law of his mother.
The word forsake here indicates acts of rebellion against his mother’s law.
This indicates that if there is to be a battle it will start with the mother.
The mother is the first line of defense if there is to be a battle.
So the mother’s role is paramount.
Her only safety is to see to it that her law is in conformance with the father’s commandment which must be based upon the Word of God.
His agenda is her agenda.
I remind you that the scripture talks about a biblical father and a biblical mother.
It is not talking about the home in which you were reared.
The scripture presents the standard.
And it is our responsibility to get in line with the scripture.
In saying forsake not the law of thy mother, the word law also has the meaning of teaching.
Without question the most important teacher a child will ever have is his mother.
This is basically because the mother is to be the primary teacher in the most important years of a child’s life, those years before being turned over to others for more formal training.
Those who are expert in such areas tell us that by the time children are three years old, they will have learned more than half of what they will learn in their lifetime and that by the age of five or six, at least eighty percent of personality will have been formed.
When a child begins school at age five, he has already developed his outlook on life.
How he views others, his values, and many other areas that will determine his success or failure in life will have already been set.
For the personality, values, and attitudes with which a child leaves home to bring into the environment of life are irreversible unless the Grace of God intervenes.
And even if that happens so much of what is put into the child in the early years will affect their ability to serve effectively and to bring glory to God.
God expects biblical child rearing take place as a preparation for salvation and then success on the narrow way.
So you see that mothers have a tremendous responsibility before them when they begin the all-important task of training a baby in order that that child will one day bring glory to God.
Mothers, the words “Just wait until your father gets home” will be rarely if ever expressed, when you realize that God has given you responsibility to daily bring up your child in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Dr. Hobbs wrote of this result: Good discipline is basic to all training, therefore, it is my conviction that the mother must be the primary applier of discipline in the early years of the child’s training. The father is the head and the one in whom authority resides, however, the mother, in harmony with the father’s desires and with his support, will be the one who should have the fine art of daily order and control mastered. As the child matures, the father’s role should become more pronounced, although the mother’s word is always to be respected and obeyed.
When unity, which displays itself in harmony in all matters in the home, results in one mind, one standard, and one voice, the children of that home will be happy, stable, and a joy to be around. What a blessing for children, who are in such a case. |